Create Tension in Your Scenes
Try this wonderful advice from Chuck Palahniuk on building tension in your scenes.
Small dog waiting outside a cafe in Whistler, BC. Photo: Tanya Clarke 2016
I've been reading Chuck Palahniuk's book on writing, Consider This.
I first read it on my kindle but have since bought the actual paperback book as I can't use post-its on a kindle. And books like this need post-its. At least for me, they do.
I'm attempting to gather all my notes from various books I’ve read into a small box of index cards divided into subjects with intriguing titles such as Prompt Ideas and Procrastination. In some circles, it's called A Commonplace Book.
In 'Consider This', I'm currently reading the chapter entitled Tension. There's a short section that has caught my interest called Avoiding Forms of Is and Have and Thought Verbs. I want to create tension in my writing. Tension and conflict drive a story forward but it can be easy to resist it and stay in the comfortable realm of the story you know.
“ If you were my student I’d tell you I understand your unease with tension. But writing fiction allows you to experience escalating conflict, controlled by you. Writing fiction will help you deal with tension and conflict in your real life.”
p.93, Consider This by Chuck Palahniuk
Let's get back to those ‘is’, ‘have’ and thought verbs. Palahniuk tells us he's often sent clippings by his readers through the post. A reader sent him one from Scientific American describing a study that demonstrated how people responded to different types of verbs.
“When they read an active, physical verb like “step” or “kick” or “grabbed,” the verb activates the part of the brain responsible for that movement. Your brain responds as if you’re actually swimming a stroke or sneezing.
But when you read any form of the verb “is” or “has”, no corresponding brain activity occurs. Likewise with abstract verbs such as “believe” or “love” or “remember.””p.115, Consider This by Chuck Palahniuk
So what does this mean? It means when you're writing you need to evoke your scenes in such a way your reader feels as if they are physically there. And the way to do this is by using active verbs.
For example, I start with:
Penny was pouring thick brewed tea into a porcelain cup. Once she had finished, she placed it onto the lap tray. Her mother was propped up with several pillows. Penny believed her mother's hands were cold.
I replaced the 'was' and 'had' words and also the abstract verb 'believe':
Penny poured the thick brewed tea into a small porcelain cup. The tea sloshed over the side into the saucer as she handed it to her mother, Celine. Celine shifted in the bed, trying to get comfortable in amongst the pillows behind her back. As she reached for the tea, Penny's fingers touched her mother's stiff, arthritic, cold hands.
The second version is better don't you think? By trying not to use 'is' and 'have' and abstract verbs, the scene becomes more alive and vibrant. It becomes more exciting to write. I want to go back and write more about Penny and Celine. There is a tension here which is what we're after.
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This week, practice tension-building by avoiding 'is', 'have' and those abstract verbs: believe, love, remember. Start with the picture of the dog above. There are two women seated and having a conversation in the background. The dog is tethered to a post, waiting. Where is the owner? How long has the dog been waiting? Get writing. Let's see what happens.
Until next time.
